Napa Spa Vacations - Booker and Butler ConciergesI dread choosing gifts for my wife. Birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s – each one is another occasion for me to flop. But this year I had a concierge service arrange the most over-the-top package of spa experiences. And as we sit in the Mud Lounge of the Solage Spa – slathered from head to toe in “a mineral-rich blend of clay and volcanic ash mixed with essential oils” – I know I’ve redeemed myself.

Day One

We are on Day One of a three-day journey taking us from Calistoga to Carneros to Kenwood, covering the three best Napa and Sonoma spas. Having rinsed off the mud, we’re now soaking in oversized tubs filled with mineral water heated by the geothermal spring that runs beneath us.

We had spent the morning hiking the Oat Hill Mine trail. Three and a half hours up, up, up to 1,800 feet above the valley. But right now I can’t conceive of doing anything more physical than lifting a wine glass to my lips. Perhaps a glass of Kelly Fleming Sauvignon Blanc, a teeny winery we passed on the way up here.

Day Two

The next day we work our way down the valley and arrive at the Carneros Inn where we take lunch (and a nap) by the pool. By 4pm it’s time for a sauna and goat milk facial for the Mrs., and a steam shower and deep tissue massage for me. By 6pm I’m feeling as tender as a side of Wagyu beef. Which is precisely what I’ll be ordering tonight at Morimoto. Shabu-shabu, anyone?

Day Three

We swing through Sonoma on our way to the Kenwood Inn and Spa, a perennial Conde Nast award-winner. It’s here that we jump the shark. My wife does the Red Carpet Oxygen Infusion. A Hollywood thing starlets supposedly do to “plump and smooth” their skin. Meanwhile, I try the Matanzas Creek Lavender Scrub which promises to “buff away dry skin and environmental stress.”  Buff away, I say.